


Battering Ram

by kristenthelia



Series: Scenes of Speech [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-03
Updated: 2011-03-03
Packaged: 2017-10-16 02:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristenthelia/pseuds/kristenthelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on this prompt from sherlockbbc_fic: This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram</p>
    </blockquote>





	Battering Ram

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt from sherlockbbc_fic: This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

"Um… Sherlock?"

–pause-

"Sherlock? Are you out there?"

–more silence-

"SHERLOCK HOLMES! IF YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN LOST IN THE MASSIVE HEAD OF YOURS INSTEAD OF SAVING YOUR FLATMATE I WILL PERSONALLY KICK YOUR-"

"John, why are you yelling from the bathroom?"

"Oh good you are there. NOW CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME OUT?"

"Get you out? Can you not do that yourself? There are handles on doors for a reason John."

"You think I haven't thought of that Holmes? It would appear I am stuck… and with one your… experiments."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that. How's the decaying progressing?"

"Decaying? Oh god… I don't even want to look."

"It's not that bad, John. Besides, the arm has only been in there a few days…"

"A FEW DAYS?"

"… not nearly long enough to get to the interesting bit."

"There's an interesting bit of decaying?"

-huffs- "Well, if you're so uncomfortable, just come out of there."

"You know Sherlock, nothing else would please me more, BUT I CAN'T!"

"Why not?"

"The doorknob has jammed. It's not turning."

"Oh… that's strange."

"No, Sherlock, what's strange is being locked in one's bathroom with a severed arm."

"Hm… a doorknob is merely a pulley system, with a spring-lock spindle…"

"How is this helpful, Sherlock?"

"… that releases the latch when turned. You said the doorknob was turning, but it was not moving the latch."

"Yeah, sure."

"Hmm… then that would suggest…"

"You have no idea what I'm going through here do you?"

"… that spring has broken…"

"And you don't even know what I'm saying."

"… or even possibly rusted…"

"How do you managed to get anything done when you're always in that brain of yours?"

"That means we'll probably have to break the door down…"

"WHAT?"

"Now what could be used at a battering ram?"

"SHERLOCK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Okay John, stand back."

"STAND BACK WHERE?"

"On three. One…"

"Oh shit… this is not going to end well…"

"two…"

"Damn, damn, damn."

"Three!"

-Crash! Boom!-

"Ack!" –splash-

"You know, for all your complaints about the arm, you seem to have no problem bathing with it."

"Oh this is disgusting… And I'll have you know Sherlock, it was your blasted Christmas tree that knocked me into it!"

"Well, you were the one that insisted on getting one."


End file.
